Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Cancer journey

I have cancer. Cancer is my new normal. I don't let it interfere with my life, but it has become the focus of my life.
This is me with cancer. I know what cancer is, what is happening in my body. I don't know why or what I can do to stop it from happening. No one does. Even science has no answer for me. So, while my doctors try to kill my cancer and save my life with their protocol of cut, burn, and poison, I am trying to heal. 
I try my best everyday to be the best me with cancer that I can. I nourish my body better than I did before cancer. I care for my body and listen to what it has to tell me better than I did before. I have stage 4 ovarian cancer. Stage 4, how did I not suspect anything was wrong? Wasn't I listening? Maybe I did suspect, but was afraid to listen.I try to be a better friend to those I hold dear, and a better daughter to my aging parents who may outlive me. A sorrow I regret I may bestow upon them.
Somedays the trying is effortless. Other days it is just too much. I just want to forget I have cancer. Then I realize with or without cancer I am a better person for the journey it has set me on. With or without cancer, this is the new me. 
I am at peace with what is.

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