I wasn't going to post anything more this week. I told myself I didn't have time. I have my PET scan tomorrow. I am in the midst of car purchasing paperwork. I have to prepare for my 5 day retreat that starts Friday, which means that I have to juice, and freeze 5 days worth of carrot juice, get all my supplements together, remember to pack my water filter, and decide what clothes to bring. Then my kitchen sink got clogged, and I lost a filling.
Do you know the quote "she's standing on a line between giving up, and seeing how much more she can take"? Well, when I felt the hole in my tooth, where the filling used to be, this is exactly how I felt.
I was like-are you kidding me? How am I going to deal with this? What is this going to cost me? And my favorite-I have cancer! Isn't that enough!? I was ready to write off the whole month of February, right then and there, even though it's just starting, because something ''bad" happened. I thought well maybe March will be better, because so far January and February have sucked!
Then I started laughing. I thought to myself, you've been dealing with cancer with a positive attitude for two years. You've been doing your best to make every day count. Are you really going to be done in by the need for some minor dental work. Are you actually willing to wait 23 more days (until March) to see if things will be better next month, or are you just going to say Damn it! and move on. The tooth doesn't even hurt. What's the big deal? I chose the latter.
How we deal with, and think about things is a choice. The attitude we take in any given situation is a choice. So just in case any of you are facing a situation that leaves you on the line between giving up, and rising to the challenge, I have put together a list of quotes to influence your choice.
"A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances
instead of your circumstances having power over you"
"A bad attitude is like a flat tire.
You can't get very far until you change it."
"Attitude is the difference between an ordeal
and an adventure."
I'm really looking forward to my meditation retreat. It's very interesting to sit with your own mind without any distractions. And to watch your ego, and see the amount of energy it uses just to keep you oriented in the world you believe to be true.
Hopefully I will come back with a positive attitude, a renewed sense of calm and equanimity, and a few good recipes.....